Welcome and enjoy yourselves. But no-one suffers food poisoning at our expense.
Our reputation is at stake – and why should we pay for your lapse of hygiene?
You see, we have a business to run and a licence to protect. We can’t afford lapses.
So every one of us here makes a point of washing their hands before they do anything. Or if they’re stuck at their post and can’t get to a wash basin, to use an antibacterial gel.
We think you owe us the same courtesy. We’re thinking of your safety and well-being, you should respect ours.
Because it’s not just washing hands.
We know from long experience that every aspect of hygiene matters.
Sure, it’s good presentation to have everything neat and clean and tidy. Spotless surroundings. Fresh table linen. Shining cutlery. Sparkling glasses. Not just for appearances, but for your health.
Germ-free or nothing
Everything you will use tonight is not only clean but germ-free. To be used once only and then cleaned again. No germs anywhere.
Our whole place is like that.
No dust, no dirt. Cleaned and polished several times a day. Scrubbed, vacuumed and disinfected. Our livelihood depends on it.
So you can imagine how meticulous we are in the kitchen. How careful we are that food prep is only in super-hygienic conditions. Created by staff who know their whole career is reliant on clean hands. As significant to them as to doctors and nurses. A rigid routine we never break.
We’re just as scrupulous with actual food too. Again, our reputation depends on it.
Yes, it’s fresh and carefully checked. Trimmed, sliced and chopped with knives dedicated to each food type to avoid cross-contamination. On surfaces thoroughly cleaned before and after preparation.
Then roasted, baked, boiled, steamed, fried, grilled or sautéed by clever hands. Hands always washed and washed again through every step. Not only for your satisfaction, but to keep you safe. So you’re never exposed to the slightest imperfection – at least not if we can help it.
You owe it to yourself
So how about you?
Yes, you’re welcome and we want you to enjoy yourself.
But food poisoning is a serious thing and we can’t afford to take chances. Which is why we’re so insistent on washing your hands. We need to protect you from yourself.
Because it’s hands that cause food poisoning, nine times out of ten. Hands touch everything every moment of the day. They feel, hold, manipulate, jab, brush and grab continuously. Collecting germs all the time – from every surface, in every location, even the air itself.
Ah, but how often do you wash your hands?
We can’t see germs, so we never think we’re contaminated. But it’s inevitable that we are, germs are everywhere – bacteria, viruses, fungi. We’re half-bacteria ourselves!
OK, so when did you last wash your hands?
Before you left home?
And did you drive straight here? Both hands on the wheel, carefully below the speed limit, watching out for pedestrians?
Ah, but cast your mind back. That booze-cruise dash to France last weekend. Loaded to the roof with your favourite Cab Sauv and a last minute grande portion de frites at McDonalds before the ferry.
Have you cleaned the steering wheel since then? Given it anything more than a quick wipe?
And you drove here with clean hands, reckoning you’re safe?
Uh huh. Any idea how long gut-wrenching bacteria like MRSA or e.coli can survive on hard surfaces?
No visible dirt – fake clean
So you’re actually going to sit there, waiting for the menu, while we ask politely that you wash your hands first?
Excuse us, but we know the facts:
- 62% of men and 40% of women NEVER wash their hands after going to the toilet.
- 95% of people don’t even wash their hands properly.
- Only 12% of people wash their hands before eating.
So no, you can’t have the menu – yet.
Other customers need to handle it after you – and we can’t take that risk. You might have e.coli, you might not. But we’re not getting nailed by some hotshot solicitors because some of our clientele ate here and felt queasy.
Like the rest of the place, our washrooms are kept clean and meticulously tidy. But if you want to stay at table because of your guests, here are some hand wipes for all of you with our compliments.
Please use them, then we’ll bring you the menus and a whole evening of enjoyment. And you won’t get food poisoning because we know our hygiene is good and our precautions work.
But just so we’re clear up front. If you don’t use these wipes and you come down with some tummy bug food poisoning, we’re not taking the rap.
Picture Copyright: IStockphoto/Doug Berry