Sorry folks, that famous and long-awaited sleigh ride won’t be happening this year.
Seems that red nose of Rudolph’s is causing major ructions at the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC).
Alarm bells are going off that it’s a warning symptom of H5N1 or other avian flu – one of the nasty ones.
With only days to this year’s round-the-world distribution trip, the whole delivery team – Rudolph, Santa and all the helpers – are under lockdown. Strict quarantine against any new pandemic breaking loose.
Despite high expectations and the world-famous nature of the trip, looks like the CDC has had Santa and Rudolph under surveillance for a long time.
High on the list of worries is the huge sack of fomites – objects or substances which are capable of carrying infectious organisms from one individual to another.
Though each is individually gift-wrapped and addressed, there are no facilities aboard the sleigh to ensure they are properly disinfected and pathogen-free.
The lack of washing facilities aboard is also identified as a major health risk.
Asked for comment, Santa was overcome by a coughing fit, but did manage to identify that a back-up system was in place.
Prior to departure, presents will be sterilised by longer than usual exposure to the Aurora Borealis at the North Pole. The ultra violet light present in the phenomenon will ensure all viruses and bacteria are removed before take-off.
Actual delivery will be by a fleet of high altitude NASA Global Hawk drones. For Santa watchers, high intensity white strobe lights will substitute for Rudolph’s more familiar red glow.
The whole journey can be tracked as normal via the official NORAD Santa Tracker website.
Hike hygiene levels high
Advice from the Santa Corporation is that children should be sure to wash their hands thoroughly before eating or opening presents – and be sure to follow proper hygiene when going to the toilet.
An upgraded delivery system is already in preparation for next year.
Merry Christmas everyone – and keep well!
Originally posted 2014-12-23 14:54:33.