Actually, it’s not alien slime, it’s genuine, 100% Earth-bound, gluey yuck.
And it’s not pretend, it’s for real.
In technical terms, a slimy bacterial biofilm – those greasy marks in between the sandwich crumbs, grit, dust bunnies and coffee mug rings that always seem appear between your first skinny latte and the end of the day. Bacteria hiding under a greasy stain.
And since we’re talking real, not pretend – it’s not just your desk that’s covered either.
All over everywhere
Surrounded and covered by billions of bacteria, tinier than our eyes can see. Alien slime, de luxe.
Thank goodness we can’t see them too – because otherwise we’d all of us look a right mess.
OK, so if this yuck is all over the place, one thing you’re sure not going to do is eat lunch. At least maybe not right now.
No matter how workaholic you are, can you really face eating with that stuff on your hands? And what’s your food going to do to your insides? A Technicolor yawn in the making, right? No, no, norovirus, or something.
But stick with reality, our hands and desks REALLY are like that. Just like alien slime.
Maybe give lunch a miss, eh?
But yeah, let’s get some soap and water on our hands, quick. If we’re breathing and swallowing that yuck all the time, we’re likely to be whipped into A&E before the end of the day.
Calm down, dear. It’s only alien slime.
Our bodies’ immune systems have done a pretty good job of looking after us so far – we’re not about to go belly up just yet.
But you’re right though.
Get our hands clean, because we use them to do everything.
So whatever yuck we have on there – whatever virus, bacteria, noxious disease, noisome odour, or gungy murk – if we don’t get rid of it, it gets transferred to everything.
Right, so soap and water – pronto! Clean, clean, clean, er…
Did you spot the deliberate mistake?
Oops, not just hands
Our hands might be clean, but our surroundings aren’t. That riot of colour is still all over everything, the germs are still there, just waiting for the opportunity to infect somebody.
Waiting to get back onto our just-washed hands. Alien slime, WHOO-HOO!
Never heard of WAIs?
Stick around and you will. Workplace Acquired Infections are the NEXT BIG THING us nine-to-five lemmings are about to wake up to.
Never mind Workplace Wellness, with our sloppy hygiene – workers and bosses – Workplace Illness is our more likely scenario.
Unless our bosses are equally on the ball and doing something about it.
Because just like it’s easy to sort yucky hands out with soap and water – it’s easy to sort out a yucky office with hydrogen peroxide.
And when we say “sort out” we mean sterilise – make all viruses and bacteria non-existent. So however healthy or not-so-healthy we are, we’re protected. From any germs lying in wait for the unlucky, or from anything our colleagues might bring in with them.
It’s easier than soap and water too.
The stuff oxidises harmful pathogens on the fly, ripping their cell structure to shreds – a one-way ticket to oblivion. Alien slime meets its doom – yah, hah!
Forty minutes later, the place is sterile, the mist reverts to just oxygen and a little water, the water evaporates – no worries, job done.
Gone is gone
Unless of course you LIKE the riot of colour all over your dress and everything. Pity you can’t see it though.
Guess we’ll have to wait till real alien slime hits us – from a returning space probe maybe.
Or, gasp, the real thing.
More fun blasting office bacteria to the Nether Void with hydrogen peroxide.
Take that – AARGH!
Picture Copyright: artzzz / 123RF Stock Photo