Five signs you might already be an angel

Just like an angel. We’re more like heavenly bodies than we might ever think

We are more remarkable than we know.

We’re also not like anything we think we know.

Our brain tells us one thing, but reality is another – our day-to-day consciousness just precludes us from seeing it.

Or believing it.

Which is why – with apologies to ecclesiastical sensitivities, but looking at the shared evidence from various spiritual sources – that we dare to suggest we might already be angels.

We have haloes, an aura all round us

Wherever we go, a living cloud surrounds us. We can’t see it, but we know it’s there. An invisible veil of microorganisms too small to see – the billions and billions of bacteria that surround us every moment of our lives.

We never think of them, never feel that they are there. Except for the bad ones maybe, the ones that can do us harm. Because if we cut ourselves or get dirty, we know that germs get in and we become infected.

Of course there’s good bacteria too, but we only know about those if we’re doctors or biologists – people aware that the good stuff protects us by crowding the bad stuff out.

Actually, some of us can see this aura. In his book Gifts of Unknown Things, South African botanist, zoologist, biologist, anthropologist and ethologist Lyall Watson describes a young girl in Indonesia who could sense colour surrounding her parents and other adults – varying in hue as their moods and thoughts changed.

There’s even a possible explanation for this. Researchers at Harvard University working with samples of escherichia coli found that individual cells of the bacterium carry an electrical charge – negative on the outside and positive on the inside. Exposed to a bacterial protein called green-absorbing proteorhodopsin, the bacteria became excited and gave off light – blinking on and off like a Christmas tree.

Was that young girl so sensitive to her environment that her metabolism could sense tiny voltage changes in the bacterial mantle around her parents’ skins? The aura is medically proven to be there, we just need some kind of 3D bacterial glasses to be able to see it.

We leave traces of ourselves wherever we go

It’s well acknowledged that visitations by angels have one lasting quality – the lingering smell of roses. Whatever the experience, the heady scent seems to provide proof that holy creatures at some stage were present.

Our trailing bio-cloud of bacteria provides similar evidence of our presence, even when we are gone. It is in fact a biological signature unique to every one of us – no two human beings attract quite the same combination of bacteria.

We can’t see it of course, but with their super sensitive noses dogs seem to be able to smell it. If they can locate individual superbugs in hospitals like clostridium difficile, why not single out specific humans from their one-of-a-kind bio-cloud IDs? Is this how a dog’s sense of smell has such unerring accuracy?

We can work miracles

We actually do this every day, though we don’t even know it. That’s because we’re not really us. Reality is that we are colonised by bacteria INSIDE our bodies as well as out – and that they outnumber our body cells by more than 10 to 1.

Our gut for instance is home to 100 trillion bacteria – to enable digestion, produce proteins to power us – and even to regulate the immune system.

It’s more than a remarkable partnership, it’s an amazing miracle that allows out human cells to park off and lord it like kings while a slave force of bacteria does the heavy lifting. After all, watching that box set is the thing, hey. Who wants the PT of processing all those Pringles and coffee while you’re doing it.

We give priceless gifts

If our bodies are living miracles, the powers that they give us are even more amazing. Our immune systems for instance are a finely balanced synergy between bacteria and our own body cells that for seventy years and more keep us pretty well invincible – just like a guardian angel. And believe it or not, our immunity is transferable.

Oh sure, we know that harmful pathogens and infections are easily transferred – by direct contact or unfortunately breathing them in. But the good news is now researchers in California have found that mothers train their babies’ developing immune systems by sending cells through the placenta to teach how it’s done.

Before being born, or any of the coming experience of playing with dirt and teething on everything, babies know how to handle outside threats and how to distinguish biological friend from foe.

We are in heavenly ignorance of all this

If we stopped to think about things, we’d be totally paranoid. Our bodies are 98% water. We share 95% of our DNA with bananas. And now it turns out that 90% of us isn’t us at all but bacteria.

The right bacteria of course. Because the wrong bacteria is totally deadly.

Trouble is, we’re no two of us the same. Which is why some of us get ill in some circumstances and some in others. There is no common denominator. Not very helpful when most of the time we choose to be together in enclosed spaces, in close contact sharing the same air.

Fortunately we don’t need to worry about this either because now it’s possible to sterilise our living spaces after we’ve been there, reducing the germ threshold to zero so we can’t infect each other with our residual bio-clouds.

It’s done with a Hypersteriliser, which mists up the place with hydrogen peroxide to destroy all viruses and bacteria – on surfaces, hidden in cracks and crevices, or lingering in the air.

Is this heaven on earth?

Mmm, better leave that to the theological experts.