OK, OK, “dead” might be a little OTT.
But make no error, plenty of people die from contamination on their fingers.
Like the old tin miners in Cornwall, back in the Thirteenth Century. There was arsenic in the dust that they gouged out of those tiny, confined tunnels – which killed plenty of them before they discovered what it was.
Which is how come those savvy Cornish womenfolk developed the world famous pasty. That thick crust around the edge was so the men could grab hold without touching the good stuff in the middle.
“Oggy, oggy, oggy,” the women would cry down the top of the mineshaft. “Oy, oy, oy,” the men would yell back from deep underground. And the women would throw the pasties down – the tough crust keeping it from bursting when it hit the bottom.
We don’t have crusts on a lot of our favourites these days, so a lot of people go sick from the swallowing the crud that’s on their hands – the price for sloppy hygiene.
Which is how come as many as a third of all norovirus cases are self-inflicted.
People don’t wash their hands – but launch straight into finger-food. Burgers, pizza, chips, sandwiches, wraps – just about every kind of food-on-the-go you can think of.
Straight off their fingers, straight into their gut – whatever germs might have decided to linger on the things they touched before they sat down to scoff. A whole day’s worth of being out and about, if you think of it. On the tube, on the bus, out in the street, lurking on cash and credit cards, on keys and clothes, on door handles and light switch – and of course on the phone.
Ever looked at the screen of your phone after making a call? Yucky, greasy stuff, right? Skin grease and grime mixed in with germs picked up from the air – as many as 10 million bacteria and even more viruses. The most visible demonstration yet of the stuff you swallow, if you eat without washing your hands.
And yes, death is possible.
Norovirus or some kind of gastroenteritis upset is the most likely result of eating with unwashed hands. And in America – fast-food nirvana – around 800 people die from it every year. From the dehydration that sets in with severe diarrhoea and vomiting. Not a nice way to go.
When it gets serious, your blood pressure drops and your whole system starts going tits up. A heavy price to pay for some fast food when you’re hungry, hey? Especially if you’re in such a hurry to eat, you neglect to wash your hands.
Stupid really, and we should all know better.
Wash hands, or die
Not enough time? Rubbish!
Choosing to die by not taking five minutes to wash and scrub up. Blind suicide is what it is. Maybe it won’t happen this time, or not even next. But what you’re doing is taking a risk just as deadly as crossing the road without looking.
So soap and water is cissy stuff, yeah?
Never mind, there’s plenty of time to reflect on the wisdom of it once you’re dead.
And if you don’t die, maybe you’ll wish you will with the cramps and the upchucks and the burning runs that never seem to stop.
You want to play silly buggers? Norovirus is not a nice playmate. Neither are any of the other billions and billions of harmful pathogens you could swallow just from a moment’s carelessness.
Which means, do yourself a favour, if you don’t want to wind up dead.
Wash your hands whenever you think of it – especially before food and always after the loo.
Otherwise you might just as well blow your brains out, right now.
For finger food? You must be nuts.
Picture Copyright: sifotography / 123RF Stock Photo