From the headlines, you’d think we’re all going to die.
There’s this deadly killer bacteria – three-quarters of all chickens have got it – just touch one and you’re dead.
Yeah? So where’s all the corpses outside KFC? It’s the most popular meat in the country, the bodies should be piled in the streets.
Back to reality
Instead of which, there’s all these kids, munching on drumsticks. They look pretty healthy, bouncing round like kids do. Grown-ups looking pretty good too.
Misplaced hysteria is what.
Because campylobacter disappears when chicken is cooked – in the same way that germs are destroyed when you boil water. And who in their right mind eats raw chicken? It’s not sushi!
Yeah but 75% of all birds are infected – you can’t eat diseased food.
So why aren’t they sick and dying too? Where’s the world-wide poultry disaster?
Check out the birds. Go see what the truth is, then decide.
Oh sure, there’s the whole thing about they should be free range, not reared in broiler houses – but that’s another issue.
Eyeball the birds for yourself and you’ll see they’re all healthy – the farmer would be out of bizz if they weren’t.
Not sick. No infected. Perfectly normal.
Not infected, naturally colonised
Yeah well, campylobacter occurs naturally in birds. That’s why so many have got it.
Like we have bacteria in our own gut – more than 1,000 different species. They’re supposed to be there too – without them we couldn’t digest anything.
So campylobacter is right for birds, but wrong for us.
OK, so we take care of it before eating. Problem solved. Like deboning a fish, peeling an orange, or taking the pip out of a peach. Not rocket science.
Things is, campylobacter is all over raw chickens – inside and outside. Which is why they say don’t wash it. The contaminated water gets everywhere – on knives and other utensils, on chopping boards – and on your hands.
You see, it’s not the cooked chicken that brings you the vomiting and diarrhoea. It’s the raw chicken water from your unwashed hands getting in your mouth.
Our own bad habits
For sure. Because it’s a fact of life that we touch our faces 3 to 5 times every minute – unconscious reflex. And most of us never bother to wash our hands at any time, not just preparing food. So the stuff goes down our throat and there we are – instant infection.
Right, so how about the hoo-hah that chicken makes your shopping unsafe? Get home with all your stuff, put it away and boom! Nausea, cramps, and the whole toot in just hours.
Yeah, well. The first thing is wash your hands – the best protection against any germs, whatever you’re doing.
The second thing is, check the packaging.
Shrink-wrap, right? No wonder your shopping gets contaminated. Any liquids from that bird are free to leak all over the place – inside your shopping bags, onto your hands, and dripping on everything else inside your fridge.
OK, so first things first.
Always keep chicken separate. In its own bag when you buy it. In its own bag when you bring it home. In its own bag at the bottom of the fridge – so it can’t leak, but if it does, it’s underneath everything else.
Next, wash your hands and everything else, every time you handle it. Except when it’s cooked of course, that’s when it’s safe.
Long term of course, it’s up to the Food Standards Agency.
Instead of running round wringing their hands that chicken farmers aren’t preventing campylobacter getting into their birds, they should be fixing the packaging.
Leak-proof, or else
Vacuum sealed, not shrink-wrapped.
No leaks, no contamination, no problem.
Enforceable by law that they’re empowered to declare.
Not spending millions on technology – boxing smart, round the problem.
Allowing for administrative fumble time, maybe six weeks at the most. And another three months after that for producers to get their compulsory vacuum-sealing machines into place – job done.
Heavy fines and pulled licences otherwise.
And nobody sick with campylobactor anywhere.
Then it should be onto a real food poisoning issue – like scombroid contamination in canned tuna. They’re the Food Standards Agency – get on with it.
And that wraps that up.