Well, not exactly, because they’ve got the door closed.
With good reason.
That room is being sterilised by high energy pulses of ultraviolet light at wavelengths between 200 and 320 nanometres.
Any germ in there – any virus, any bacteria – is getting its DNA blitzed to hell and gone, with no coming back.
Five minutes and the surgery is ready for the next patient.
Sterilised for every patient
They call the machine that does it The Rumbler.
Because it rumbles on the floor – all finished in oak at Malmsey Dental Practice – quicker for an easy wipe-down. Staff are hot on hygiene at Malmsey, and the patients love it.
More accurately they love Gloria, the petite New Zealand gap-year student they’ve hired to push The Rumbler around.
Practice manager Pat Hunniford’s niece, she came in one day to see the set-up and grabbed the machine when there was an awkward glitch moment between patients.
The entire dental staff fell in love with her smile, and she made the patients feel like a million dollars as she ushered them in to their appointments.
Especially when they realised that The Rumbler she was wheeling around totally sterilised the place.
With that smile and that reassurance, the Malmsey dentists hired Gloria on the spot, the ultimate natural.
Open wide – and no germs
So now Glorious Gloria wheels the machine to each of the surgeries between patients, shushes the dental staff out for their ten-minute breather, activates the machine, checks the waiting room while it runs, then switches off it to rumble into the next surgery and go find the next patients.
Business is booming.
There are four dentists at Malmsey, and two hygienists.
Thanks to Gloria, they’re booked solid for the next two months – and the waiting list for new patients could re-paper reception.
Because Gloria is way more than a pretty face. An intending med student herself, she tells everyone how the UV rays from The Rumbler sterilise each surgery before every patient, so she’s actually keeping them all safe.
With her Hollywood smile – a cosmetic sales incentive all by itself – she explains how nobody must look at the machine while it’s running to avoid any harm.
Safer, stronger, faster
It’s pulsed UV from a powerful xenon bulb that is way more intense, yet safer than the old mercury vapour lamps they used to use. Faster too, which is how they can sterilise every surgery before every patient.
Pat Hunniford organised the appointments system to allow for the time – and staff feel more motivated with the frequent breaks to make phone calls, catch up on gossip, or simply chill in a way they never could anywhere else.
Again and again they tell Gloria she has a guaranteed career in PR, or modelling, or even in show-biz.
But she just flashes that amazing smile and carries on with The Rumbler.
A whole-room autoclave
It’s not a rumbler at all of course, it’s a Hyperpulse – the same size as a small photocopier – with a tall xenon bulb that pops up and down like a periscope when the machine is activated.
Not many practices have the Hyperpulse, but when the dentists realised they could sterilise their whole rooms as well as their instruments for every patient, it quickly became a must-have. (Tweet this)
Meanwhile summer is coming and they know that Glorious Gloria is going to give them the best attendance records yet.
They also know the clock is ticking.
Gloria’s mind is made up – and she fully intends to be first in line when the University of Auckland opens its doors at the end of February next year.
Sad for the dentists. But they also know they have the happiest – and healthiest – dental patients in the whole of UK.
Originally posted 2015-03-20 12:09:50.