Why washbasins are useless and obsolete

Shh hand to lips
It’s no secret – and it’s time we talked about this

No, no, not the washbasin you have in the bathroom at home.

How else are you going to do your teeth, rinse your hair – and all the thousand and one other things that require your ingenuity?

In the big wide world

Away from home though, is a different matter – the washbasins you encounter at work, in the shopping mall, at the airport – and let’s not forget motorway services.

Yes, we can feel that disapproving look. Not your best experience, eh?

Because even in the poshest designer washrooms, it seems this is an issue we’ve never got right. Those washbasins are as much of a switch-off as anything else.

Not to look at – they probably reek Italian chic.

We mean to actually use – to stand in front of the thing and do what you’re supposed to do.

Wash your hands.

Won’t, or don’t?

We’re beginning to understand now why this is an issue so many of us brush aside. Hence the same shocking statistics we’re always banging on about:

We’re not thinking this right, are we? Not addressing the REAL problem.

For which we’re really sorry – we owe you and ourselves a massive apology.

Just try actually washing your hands in any of these away from home washroom places, and you’ll see why. Yeah, they look very swish and impressive, but did anyone ever follow this thing through?

Let’s start with the plug.

Uh huh, usually there isn’t one. Back in the day, people used to swipe them – but nowadays that’s to encourage you to put your hands under running water – more convenient, more hygienic. They even have infrared sensors, so the taps switch on automatically – no touching anything, just hold your hands underneath.

Messy, messy

Problem right there.

Although you’re holding your hands over this large dish-shaped catch area, the water cascades off the back of your hands, slooshing onto the vanity slab around the basin as you move them about.

And if you’re the type who wets your hands before applying soap, you’ll also find water dripping everywhere as you reach for the dispenser.

OK, now you’re into it and getting energetic, working your fingers every which way and over the backs of your hands too. Lots more watery splatter – over the vanity slab and onto the mirror behind.

You might also find, as you move your hands back and forth, that the taps are a little too enthusiastic – water slooshes out of the front of the basin over your clothes – or onto the floor if you’re quick enough to see it coming and step back sharpish.

Right, you’re done and you rinse the soap away – awkwardly at arm’s length to avoid the puddle of water at your feet. Tiles, slippery, accident waiting to happen. Bad, Jim.

The drying nightmare

Your hands are wet, and your next problem is getting them dry. And when we say wet, we mean sopping – they’ve just been under the tap.

So what’s the first thing you do?

Instinctive this – you shake off the excess, just like that wonderful and brilliant man Joe Smith shows us we should.

Yeah, shake it off – just like the family dog. More water splatter, all over the place – and as we’ve observed elsewhere, with germs of all kinds in the drops.

Now you’ve got to dry yourself. But not at the vanity slab you won’t.

Any paper towel stacked on there will be an awful soggy mess. So somewhere else there’s a machine fixed to the wall – either a paper towel dispenser or one of those jet turbine blow jobs. Or worse, a clunka-chunka pull-down linen towel – already wet from other people.

Not the most enjoyable experience of your life, right?

The Ew! factor

Because do you feel clean and refreshed, or somehow short-changed and tainted? The same way you might feel if the actual loo you tried to use stank of noisesome nastiness, and hadn’t been flushed in six months?

Hoo boy! No wonder so many people don’t wash their hands after going to the loo. Or should we say AVOID washing their hands after going to the loo?

Because how would YOU shape up to it – sopping vanity slab, water splatters all around, a spreading puddle on the floor underneath? If you could avoid it, you would, right?

Which why we say that washbasins are useless and obsolete – fine for the Nineteenth Century, but the way of the dodo now.

Waterless sanitising

Because the alternative that already exists – and we all know about – is to avoid yuckiness altogether and use a sanitising gel.

No water to splatter around, spreading more germs than we wash off – no problem with drying.

One quick squidge and we’re away, wiggling it round our fingers until it evaporates. Healthy, hygienic – what’s the problem?

Getting it to you at the right time of course, making it easy to use too.

Your hands have icky stuff on them, yes? So you don’t want to touch anything.

So there needs to be an automatic squidger right there at the loo, to dispense the stuff onto your hands before you move away. One of those infrared sensor thingies could do the job – let it squirt out a handful from underneath one of them.

OK, now you move away, fingers already working the gel. By the time you get to the door, your hands are already dry. And there’s no germs on the handle when you touch it – the INSIDE one, that is – because everybody else’s hands are germ-free too.

Washbasins, yuck.

In this still new and shining Twenty-First Century, why do we still put up with them?

Back Off, Bacteria! is the blog of Hyper Hygiene Ltd, supplier of what we’re convinced is the most effective health protection system in the world. A fully mobile, all-automatic Hypersteriliser machine mists up workplaces with ionised hydrogen peroxide, spreading everywhere and eliminating all bacteria, viruses and fungi.

Hypersteriliser units are supplied to businesses and institutions across the UK, notably the haematology and other critical units at Salford Royal Hospital, Greater Manchester; Doncaster & Bassetlaw Hospital; South Warwickshire Hospital; Coventry & Warwickshire Hospital; and Queen Victoria Hospital, East Grinstead.

The Halo Hypersteriliser system achieves 6-log Sterility Assurance Level – 99.9999% of germs destroyed. It is the only EPA-registered dry mist fogging system – EPA No 84526-6. It is also EU Biocide Article 95 Compliant.

Originally posted on 13 October 2018 @ 6:39 pm

Originally posted on 13 October 2018 @ 6:39 pm

Why can’t you blast computer viruses with hydrogen peroxide?

Angry woman with computer
The only good virus is a dead virus (unless they’re bacteriophages – the amazing natural viruses that actually EAT killer bacteria)

Yes, a virus on your computer is the pits.

Especially the kind that don’t roll over dead – that keep re-infecting, over and over again.

Which is why, with apologies, there was no blog yesterday.

And why today’s is hung over with this bit of a rant.

Ctrl-Alt-Del

Because a really pernicious virus is like Ebola.

All the vital functions of your computer start shutting down, the entire system is under attack.

And it’s not just what it does to your day – that’s your whole life going down the tubes.

You don’t come back from Ebola unless you’re very lucky. And you don’t come back from a major computer infestation unless you’re very lucky too.

But here’s the bad part.

You can’t even have a go at your computer with hydrogen peroxide.

Super germ-killer that it is, even the industrial strength 30% solution has no effect on infected hard drives or CPUs.

Infuriating that.

Reliable germ-killer

Because hydrogen peroxide can take out any biological virus or bacteria easy-peasy.

Basically like water with an extra oxygen atom, it rips harmful pathogens apart by oxidising them. The extra oxygen atoms release to tear apart their cell structures beyond any chance of survival.

They are gone.

Especially when you use a Hypersteriliser – the thing that mists up the room for an hour or so and annihilates all the germs. Yes, you’re right, it takes sterilising rooms to a whole new level.

So why haven’t they made one for computers?

Clever thing, that Hypersteriliser.

Instead of just spraying willy-nilly – an iffy and very watery fogging method that needs strong concentrations of hydrogen peroxide to work – it mists up the place with an ultra-fine spray that is finer than water vapour.

Ionised into plasma

Finer than just about anything, because it’s ionised.

More eco-friendly too because it allows lighter concentrations – just 6%, the same as you buy in the chemist for disinfecting cuts and scrapes.

But with a massive difference.

Ionising the hydrogen peroxide changes its state to more like a gas, actually behaving like a plasma. Every molecule acquires an electrical charge, buzzing with energy.

As the micro-mist leaves the nozzle, these molecules jump to escape from each other – two objects with the same charge repel each other, remember your O Level science?

That means they disperse quickly, as far away from each other as they possibly can. But contained by the walls and ceiling of the room, so they pile in wherever they can get. On every surface, horizontal or vertical. Underneath them, behind them, and into every crack and crevice.

All the places that normal wipe cleaning – and disinfection – can’t reach.

It’s a dry mist too. Safe with electrical connections – especially sensitive health-care machines. Tiny voltages are unaffected, there’s no moisture around keyboards or input sockets.

The killer charge

That same charge though, attracts the stuff to every opposite-charged object – tables, work surfaces, instruments, machines, floors, walls, ceilings.

Everything floating in the air too. Like microscopically invisible pathogens – viruses and bacteria swarming around to infect things.

The charged hydrogen peroxide is attracted like a magnet – actively reaching out and grabbing hold.

The oxygen atoms release, and rip the pathogen cells to pieces – end of story.

Well, almost.

Because the stuff is just water with an extra oxygen atom, right? So that’s all that’s left – oxygen and water. But in such small quantities, it evaporates almost immediately.

And the silver bullet

Oh, and yes, did we mention the silver?

To give this ionised hydrogen peroxide triple-whammy hyper performance, colloidal silver boosts its killing power by over three times. Any virus hit by that is dead in an instant – including Ebola.

So why can’t we have this stuff for computers? (Tweet this)

Come on, you geeks. How hard can it be?

Originally posted on 2 September 2018 @ 10:38 pm

There’s restaurants and restaurants – why’s this one so heavenly?

Stairway to heaven
No germs or bacteria, no collywobbles or funny tummy

It’s a classy place with a famous chef.

Prime location, soft lighting, designer place settings.

And why not? You’ve earned this.

A night out to please every indulgence.

An impressive menu too.

AIR CONDITIONED, it says at the bottom. Well, of course.

STERILISED DAILY.

Sterilised?

You call the maître d’.

Sterilised – has there been a health problem?

You’ve read about these celebrity places.

Surprise inspection – rats in the kitchen, worms in the salad, everybody down with norovirus.

Surprise is right – a pleasant one for you. And a thing of the future, happening now.

Seems the whole restaurant is sterilised for your safety and protection.

You glance round. At the soft drapes and high ceilings. The expensive-looking chandeliers.

You’ve watched Downton Abbey, you know how tricky those things are to clean.

A confident grin from the maître d’.

They have a robot.

A nifty thing on wheels that they roll in when everyone’s gone. Close all the windows and doors and the thing mists up the place – an ultra-fine mist of hydrogen peroxide. Seems no germ can withstand it. Not even this ebola stuff that has everyone in a tizz.

Apparently this mist stuff is ionised too. So it rises up, into, and under everything. With charged particles that grab hold of bacteria and viruses – shoving oxygen atoms at them. Dead and gone, unable to touch anybody – and that means you.

And they do this every day, so you’re safe. The whole restaurant, the kitchen, the loos – even the cloakroom.

When they open the doors, you’re into a place where germs can’t touch you. Unless that bloke with the sneeze on Table Four brought something in with him. Not so likely to get to you though, if the whole place is sterilised.

So you can relax and indulge. Even you with your sensitive tummy. Dare to be different and get away with it.

Like the trout almondine. If you’ll pardon the expression, it’s to die for. Meaning of course that it’s heavenly.

Good choice.

And as you knew when you sat down, you deserve it.

Back Off, Bacteria! is the blog of Hyper Hygiene Ltd, supplier of what we’re convinced is the most effective health protection system in the world. A fully mobile, all-automatic Hypersteriliser machine mists up workplaces with ionised hydrogen peroxide, spreading everywhere and eliminating all bacteria, viruses and fungi.

Hypersteriliser units are supplied to businesses and institutions across the UK, notably the haematology and other critical units at Salford Royal Hospital, Greater Manchester; Doncaster & Bassetlaw Hospital; South Warwickshire Hospital; Coventry & Warwickshire Hospital; and Queen Victoria Hospital, East Grinstead.

The Halo Hypersteriliser system achieves 6-log Sterility Assurance Level – 99.9999% of germs destroyed. It is the only EPA-registered dry mist fogging system – EPA No 84526-6. It is also EU Biocide Article 95 Compliant.

Originally posted on 27 June 2018 @ 5:28 am

Originally posted on 27 June 2018 @ 5:28 am

Why most deep cleans are not as deep as you think

Sceptical businesswoman
Shouldn’t a deep clean sterilise a room AND the air that’s in it?

Sounds impressive, doesn’t it? Deep clean.

Definitely the thing for emergencies and beginning-of-project preparations. To make things safe and free from risk of infection. More high-powered than a regular wash down.

Somehow you imagine that scrubbing is longer and harder. That everything is stripped to its bare bones, then reassembled. That super octane chemicals are involved – face mask and breathing apparatus territory, you can just see the stuff fuming off the walls.

If only

Back to earth, spaceman.

Yes, most deep cleans involve more rubbing and scrubbing, but not a hell of a lot else. They may also include more areas – high contact surfaces like door handles, keypads and remote controls – in addition to the usual worktops and floors.

The big expectation of course is that they do more than remove dirt. The whole purpose of the exercise is to kill germs – not just clean, but safe. Two jobs at once, wipe away the visible dirt, clobber the nasty microbes.

Yeah, right.

Time to actually work

Ask yourself one question. What’s the contact time?

Removing dirt is a physical thing – wipe, wipe, it’s visibly gone. Not the same with germs. Bacteria, viruses, fungi, moulds – they all know how to hang on. They’re too small to see anyway, so it’s impossible to know if they’re there.

Count on it, they are. And they’re only going to get clobbered if the active whatever in the miracle gop being used has sufficient time to do its job. Wham, bam, thank you ma’am is not going to crack it.

So if the job looks like it’s just wipe, wipe, finish, you can bet that germs have hardly been touched. Just because you can smell bleach doesn’t mean it’s doing anything. It needs a contact time of at least ten minutes before anything happens – and that depends on how concentrated it is too.

Yes, bleach makes your eyes water and rips the top of your head off, but as a germ-killer it’s a medium-weight also-ran. And ten minutes with even half a bottle of the stuff dumped in a bucket of water is still nowhere near enough.

Worse in fact, because the bleach kills some of the germs but not all of them. And bacteria particularly are masters at survival. The stronger ones that don’t die off keep multiplying as bacteria always do.

Twenty minutes and there’s a whole new bleach-resistant variety on the go – accelerating madly if where they are is warm and damp – like a countertop in a centrally-heated kitchen, briskly wiped down with a moist rag.

Not good enough.

Demand more

Which means shifting to a more high-powered kind of germ-killer – glutaraldehyde, formaldehyde, ortho-phthalaldehyde, peracetic acid or hydrogen peroxide – most of which drop the necessary contact time down to 30 seconds – again depending on strength and method of application.

Problem right there. Formaldehyde is regulated as a carcinogen and banned across the European Union. Glutaraldehyde is highly toxic and unstable in storage. Ortho-phthalaldehyde (OPA) stains the skin. And peracetic acid corrodes brass, copper, steel and iron.

Which leaves hydrogen peroxide – the same stuff that our own bodies produce naturally to fight infection. It attacks viruses and bacteria by oxidising them, reverting back to small quantities of harmless oxygen and water.

Now we’re cooking with gas.

Antimicrobial air force

Quite literally if the stuff is sprayed into the air after physical scrubbing of worktops, floors and other surfaces has already removed physical dirt. Because the expectation of a deep clean is not just that it disinfects all surfaces, it ought to STERILISE THE ROOM.

And doing the surfaces is only part of the job – pretty well 80% of any room is the air space we move around in. Never touched by ordinary cleaning methods, but alive with all kinds of unseen material – dust, fluff, the air we breathe – and billions and billions of viruses and bacteria.

Which makes treating the air the main part of the job – exactly what airborne hydrogen peroxide does.

It gets even better. If the hydrogen peroxide is ionised – charged with high voltage electricity as it’s dispersed – it changes state from a gas vapour to a plasma, forcing its individual particles away from each other and actively grabbing at airborne viruses and bacteria as it does so.

Becoming a plasma unlocks other high-powered antimicrobials too – hydroxyl radicals, reactive oxygen species, reactive nitrogen species, ozone (a more voracious oxidiser than hydrogen peroxide), and ultraviolet.

Viruses and bacteria don’t stand a chance. Allowing forty minutes for effective dispersal and proper contact time across the entire space, ALL of them are dead down to less than one in a million – 99.9999% destroyed. Or as the medics prefer to put it, a Sterility Assurance Level of Log 6.

Sound like a proper deep clean to you?

OK, now you just need a Hypersteriliser to achieve it – a small but nifty wheelie-bin sized automatic unit that makes total room sterility as easy as pie. If your cleaning service isn’t using one, better jump up and down until they do.

Deep clean means NO MORE GERMS, not just scratching the surface.

Picture Copyright: auremar / 123RF Stock Photo

Work-place germs 0: Germs on hands 10m

Girl stops play
Sure, clean the place like crazy –
but don’t forget your hands

Hang on a minute.

Zero germs in the work-place?

Surprise, surprise – the brass snuck in last night with a Hypersteriliser and nixed all viruses and bacteria into the Nether Void – oxidised to nothing by hydrogen peroxide mist.

Wha…?

Don’t worry, it’s strictly kosher.

The biggest issue

You see, absenteeism came up Big Time in the last management meeting. Sales down. Profits down. Too many sick leave pay-outs.

Too many sickies – period.

HR said it was normal for this time of year. But the IT guys said Them Down the Road have had nobody off – how come us and not them?

And the bean–counters said the hell with that, either the numbers come down or it’s out with the P45s.

HR panicked, but Facilities Management were on the ball.

That workshop they went on?

Scary video presented by a research heavy at the Royal Society of Public Health. Germs in the loo, germs on computer keyboards – staff picking up germs, like 10 million on their hands, every moment of every day.

Clobbering all germs

So they got a Hypersteriliser and fizzed it up. In the old workshop where the damp is? Mould on the walls, clobbered overnight. Black as coal when they started, pale grey the next morning. Wiped off with a soft brush. No smell either, normal like it should be – except it’s always freezing cold in there.

So last night, the office. The usual go-round with the vacuum cleaner/wipe-down team. Then the full-on germ-killing hit – main bullpen, meeting room and the kitchen/coffee area – forty minutes each with ionised hydrogen peroxide plasma.

All viruses and bacteria gone – annihilated from all surfaces – and even the air itself.

Yeah well, you can’t see germs, so it’s hard to tell.

The vinegar smell was gone though – who had fish and chips at their desk? And that off-chicken pong by the photocopier? No sign of that either.

Sterile start

So the day starts with zero germ threshold. Totally sterile. Anybody with an underlying medical problem? Nothing’s going to get to you this time. No picking up stuff from keyboards, phones or light switches either – no, no, norovirus, nothing there.

But everybody’s gotta wash their hands before they start. Straight in off the street, their hands will be loaded – from strap-hanging in the tube, grab-handles on the bus, the sticky jam doughnut at Starbucks. And most gruesome of all (gasp), not washing after the loo.

Shocking, yes. But – better believe it – most of us just don’t.

Which is why there’s also a pack of antiseptic hand-wipes on every desk, waiting for you.

If you’re too mad keen to get started first thing, then the wash-room can come to you. Just make sure you use them before you touch anything. It might not be you that gets e.coli – but don’t wish it on your mates.

In fact, use ’em whenever you think of it. Before finger-drool from that awesome sandwich gets all over your mouse, or fallen crumbs start gathering hungry bacteria round the edge of your in-tray.

And always after the loo, of course. Except now it’s easy – those wipes are in your face – right there as you get back to your desk.

Boosting the balance sheet

So – germs, absenteeism, checking the numbers

What goes around, comes around. Which in this case means nothing. No colds, no flu, no tummy bugs, no infected paper cuts. Sterile office and sterile fingers keep you safe – the sterile air you breath too. Bottom line looking good.

Nothing to challenge your own bacteria either – the billions and billions of good microbes we all have inside us and around us, helping our bodies keep healthy and well. Sales figures looking up too.

Any of those other germs want a return match, they’re going to lose.

A big chomp of pizza – and 3.971 million germs

Pizza girl
Are you having 3.971 million germs
with that?

Yum!

Eating with your fingers.

Is anything better?

You bet.

Eating with your fingers AFTER YOU’VE WASHED THEM.

Germs for sure

Because however nice your chosen favourite is – it’s not worth the tummy cramps, vomiting and diarrhoea that visits you at 2.00 in the morning.

E. coli, norovirus – take your pick.

It could be any one of thousands bacteria or viruses on your fingers at any one time.

Collected through your morning until now…

Off the money in your purse, your Oyster card, the STOP button on the bus, the door handle of the coffee shop, the face of your mobile, the front door to your office, the lift call button, your computer on switch, the keyboard on your desk, the mail in your In-tray, your desk itself, your office phone, the photocopier start switch, the door to the loo, the tissue paper you use there, the flush handle, the bag of doughnuts for coffee break, the parcel from the printing company, the felt-tip pens for the update board, your face, your lipstick for touch-up, the conference room table, the overhead projector, the overhead slides from sales, the meeting microphone on/off, the stairway banisters, the lunch-time news-sheet, the pizza-joint window choosing while you queue in the street, the bag they put it in to take back to your desk…

Er, excuse us.

Where was “wash your hands” in all that?

Our minds go blank

Don’t look so surprised. Most of us forget, even though we’re sticklers for clean.

Yet everything we touch, every second of every day, is covered in viruses and bacteria.

We are too. Billions of them on our skin and clothing.

Billions more inside us too. Over 6 billion in our mouths, more than the number of people on Earth. More than 100 trillion in our gut – partners in helping us digest.

So when we pick up that pizza with our fingers, there’s plenty stuff for us to swallow that we’re not supposed to.

Yes, we’ve got bacteria inside us already – but the right ones, they’re supposed to be there. And most of the time, even the wrong ones are OK – our immune systems are too strong to let them take hold.

But the stuff on our fingers is dodgy. Often in quantities big enough to give us grief. And often really yucky stuff we’d rather not know about. Like if you didn’t wash your hands when you went to the loo, there could be poo on there.

Hold it!

Don’t take that bite!

Put it down and wash your hands first.

Be safe.

And don’t reckon you can blame the pizza company if you come down with something.

Those pizza oven are way too hot for germs to survive – 800°F, or even more.

And nobody touched your super-size slice. Straight off the pizza shovel, gloved hands on the cutter wheel, into the box, and bagged into your own hands.

Wash your hands and everything’s hunky. Quattro stagioni perfetto.

Forget and take a chance – you could be in hospital sooner than you think.

More than 800 people die from norovirus every year. More than 5,000 from e.coli. Add c.difficile, Delhi Belly and rotavirus – the numbers jump to over 80,000.

Don’t be one of them.

A wrong-way encounter with any of these nasties will be more than you can chew.

After you with the soap.

Germ-free offices make pots more money

Ecstatic businesswoman
Winning is addictive. And the feel-good is contagious

We’re kidding, right?

No way the numbers add up.

So what if 131 million working days are lost to sick leave every year? That’s not going to break the bank – 4.4 days per employee, one week out of 52, not even 2%.

Yeah – except none of those employees works in isolation. There’s colleagues like you, sitting at a desk less than 10 feet away – well inside cough, splutter range.

Oops, it’s catching

Which means whatever they get, you get too. Sod’s law.

Sure, sure, but all part of the same statistic. Only 4.4, right?

You wish.

Because being sick for real – not just pulling a sickie – is more than one or two days off, isn’t it?

There’s the four-five days incubation, before you come down with it. Not feeling yourself, dragging yourself into work, head all over the place, sweats and chills at the same time, tummy roiling with World War Three.

Impossible to work like that. Not you at your best, hey? What would you say, 50% under par? More? Less than half a person, going through the motions – and all the time you’re doing that, how many others are there inside YOUR 10 foot cough, splutter range?

You shouldn’t be there, right? You owe it to your colleagues – and your bosses. You’re a walking germ-alodium and you ought to stay away.

So what do you prove, walking round, infecting everyone? That you’re a hero? Get real.

And the rest

Plus of course, there’s the other four-five days when you get back. Still feeling like death warmed up, still way under par. Not convalescing, you do that at home. More like guilt-tripping because you know they’re running under-staffed. Or maybe you’re worried about job security.

Which makes the numbers more under-claim rosy than they should be, doesn’t it? A bigger cost, even lower productivity. Instead of 4.4 days a year, you’re performing like less than half of yourself for another ten – altogether three weeks of your expertise whipped away, gone.

And that’s not counting mistakes you might make because you’re not 100% on the ball. Or things you miss while you’re battling to concentrate. They have a price tag too. Lost income certainly, maybe a lost contract too. Or forfeits of some kind because your work doesn’t come up to scratch.

The real downside

OK, so if straight statistics mean the country is losing £29 billion a year from sick days – reality is at least five to ten times more than that, around £150 billion.

To put that in perspective, say you’re a mid-level minnow at £2,500 a month and your valued expertise generates 10 times more than that. Your worth to the company is £27,500 a month. Take out the three weeks of under-performing and that’s just under £18,500. Down the tubes, gone. Because you weren’t functioning on all four.

But hold it. Those ONS statistics mean every worker in the country loses 4.4 days a year – every single one.

So if there’s ten more of you in the office, that’s £185,000 a year, assuming you’re all at the same level. Add the boss in there – and say, a couple of the more high-powered sales stars – and that easily tops half a mill.

Half a million quid, every year – just for parking off, sick!

How many companies can afford that? And what if where you work has more than ten people?

Light in the tunnel

Which makes it kind of crazy that it’s all unnecessary, doesn’t it?

Because for less than the cost of just one of you, that all-involving career outfit you’re working for could have not one but TWO Hypersteriliser machines misting up the place every night and reducing the presence of all viruses and bacteria to zero. No germs, boom – in around forty minutes per room.

And what would that do? Chop the chance of any of you catching an infection at work by at least half, maybe more.

No, it won’t wave a magic wand if you’re sick already – or stop you coming down with something if it’s already inside you.

But it will stop new stuff – all of it.

And if you all give up bad habits like eating at your desk – about the worst place to catch germs in the universe from the guck that accumulates and is never cleaned away – there’s even less chance of getting sick, ever.

Especially if you all wash your hands on top of it – and keep sanitising gel handy.

Uh huh. A total U-turn in office hygiene.

Because now instead of losing money, the place starts making it. Not exactly germ-free, but almost.

When success strikes

Feeling well means that everyone is functioning at 100 per. Stuff gets done, efficiency rises. You all start looking like winners. Which of course, you are.

Snowball time. Everything just keeps getting better.

Your offices feel like a good place to be, so morale takes a hike. Onwards and upwards becomes a reality. Going the extra mile is done with a smile. The competitive edge. You’re better than anyone else and you know it.

All of you.

And what does that do to the balance sheet?

See the boss’s smile. See him give you a whole extra three weeks off.

Wait a minute, wasn’t that how long you were out of it – dragging yourself around, sick as a dog?

See the boss smile again. Feel yourself do it too.

The place can afford it now – a clean bill of health. These are germ-free offices and it shows.

Drive against germs triggers big bucks boom

Happy accountant
No germs, no sickness –
you can feel it in your bank balance

Bonuses all round.

Stock options, shares.

More money than anybody knows what to do with.

When things start going right, the sky’s the limit.

On top of the world

Which is what happens when people feel 100% healthy and on top of things.

No more pulling sickies. No more dragging yourself into work, feeling like boiled knitting.

You’re up and going, the feel-good factor kicks in –ain’t nothing gonna stop you and your colleagues taking on the world.

You wish.

Pre-winter blues

This time of year, everybody’s on the edge.

Back from holiday, still queasy from that tummy attack in the last few days. First sign of cold weather and the start of the sniffles.

You just know in your bones, it can only go downhill.

If it’s not you off ill, it’s your work-mates. Tummy or flu, whatever’s going round. And sure as hell, everybody’s going to pass them all on – especially in that bullpen office you all work in.

Yeah, you get paid sick leave – and the company has insurance. Small mercies, doing everybody’s head in.

Until some mid-level management type flips out that all these germs are doing nobody any good – and quality of life is going down the tubes. Enough already, the rot stops here.

Money, money, money

First they do the sums. Bottom line, it’s a wonder all companies aren’t broke.

Sickness cost the UK a whopping £29 BILLION in 2013 alone – a big bucks kiss of death to startups and SMEs.

That’s 131 million days lost to sickness every year – 27 million to coughs and sneezes, 15 million to worry and anxiety.

Then the penny drops.

People have computers, right? They can do their jobs better, faster – worth the investment.

BETTER, FASTER – hold that thought.

Investment in health

So where’s the investment in health and wellbeing to make them better and faster in personal performance too?

Enter, your company’s first Hypersteriliser – half the cost of the small car assigned to each sales rep. And way more significant to productivity.

Whatever germs are in the office – any viruses or bacteria lingering at the end of the day – they’re all gone in forty minutes per room. Every single treated area is totally sterile before staffers come in next morning.

OK, but that won’t clobber whatever new germs people might bring in with them from the great outside. We all carry germ-clouds around with us, wherever we go – most good, but some bad. Kinda why we have a germ problem in the first place.

But with a germ threshold starting at zero, any transferable infections should come down more than 50%, hospital tests already prove it.

50% of £27 million for coughs and sneezes is no small change. And that’s just a start

Work hygiene – phase two

Bung a tube of sanitising hand wipes on every desk – and a major cause of Workplace Acquired Infections (WAIs) is also nipped in the bud.

Discourage drinking and eating at workstations – a proper break in a relaxed area is more inspirational anyway – and the daytime germ count drops even more. Not the zero threshold the day started with, but close.

Ah, and there’s the knock-on effect.

When people feel well, they perform better – more motivated, more resilient, more ready to achieve things. Qualities all companies know are priceless.

It ripples out from there. Greater worth in engagement with customers and suppliers. Bigger reputation and standing.

Sky’s the limit

Better still, health issues are on hold up the line as well – cough, sniffle, tummyache whatever – the company heavyweights start feeling good too. Everyone’s on full song. Like, no more projects in jeopardy because the boss is sick. He’s on the plane to China with the new prototype designs six weeks early.

Feel-good inspires. Feel-good motivates. Feel-good sells. Feel-good brings big bucks.

Kinda worth it, having a go at all those germs, don’t you think?

Helicopter Mums brace for predictable school flu

Anxio0us woman pilot
Whatever’s going down, no way any of that’s happening to my kids

What goes around, comes around.

Which makes it kind of inevitable that whatever of this year’s flu variations little Johnny brought back on that long-haul holiday in Australia, Holly and Maisie are going to come down with it.

It’s the season

Thirty kids in the same classroom for most of the day, windows closed because it’s British summer time, and too early for the central heating to turn on – there’s a swirling mush of germs in there just waiting to grab the right victim.

Not necessarily picked up during the day either – because little Johnny’s Mum trained him to sneeze into his elbow and avoid spreading germs. No air-to-air contact there.

Nothing off his desk either – because little Johnny’s Mum always has a go at him about washing his hands. The other kids think he’s hyper, but little Johnny’s Mum is kinda big and thick-set – and they’ve heard she referees rugby matches.

Forgotten habit

Not that they do the hand wash thing themselves, but they leave little Johnny alone and let him get on with it. Besides, it’s raining outside and little Johnny makes it one too many for indoor football. Plus he’s not looking so good, so leave him out of it.

Isolation but not quarantine.

Because when all those kids go home, they leave their bio-trace behind them, part of their personal biomes.

Not heard of biomes?

That’s the bio-cloud each and every one of us carries around with us. We’re not really ourselves you see, more bacteria than human – our body cells are outnumbered by resident bacteria colonies more than 10 to 1.

Our other selves

Over 100 trillion of these guys live harmoniously inside us, deep down in our gut. We do the eating – they do the heavy lifting of food digestion and assimilating it into the bloodstream. Weird but it works – a synergistic partnership we’ve lived with since we were prehistoric slime.

Trillions more of them cluster outside us – on our skin, in our clothes, and trailing around us in a kind of flowing aura. As we move around, this bio-cloud follows us – an invisible mish-mash of viruses and bacteria – some good, some bad. All swirling around and wisping, like biological smoke.

Walk into a room and this bio-cloud immediately takes possession of the space, making it our own. Twenty minutes, and the room is ours, as samples from any biological probe will quickly prove. More of us – and there’s a jumble, the clouds constantly fighting to outdo each other.

Walk out of the room though, and whole eddies of this mish-mash are left behind. Floating and drifting because they’re lighter than air – only 0.00002 of a millimetre across – they hover just like the kids’ own helicopter Mums, waiting for somebody new to walk in and be colonised.

Spread and multiply

Lingering germs, right?

Which is how come any one of the kids in that class could catch a bug, even if little Johnny is kept home. The flu virus that does it can survive in the air for up to a week if it has to. Plenty time to grab another victim and spread.

More flu germs in the air, more chance to catch them – no wonder whole schools of kids come down with it. Except the littlie ones of course, they get the flu jab up to the age of four.

Yeah, but too young for Johnny.

Heavy sighs from the helicopter Mums. They’ve seen it happen every year.

But it doesn’t have to.

Hygiene hero to the rescue

Zap the classroom with a Hypersteriliser each night and the place is completely sterile. All viruses and bacteria totally destroyed, nothing from little Johnny’s biome to pass on to anyone.

Totally safe, it works by misting up the room with a fine plasma mist of hydrogen peroxide. The germs get oxidised and die, turning the stuff back into oxygen and water – the water evaporates – room cleared, job done.

Less chance of picking up an infection, less chance of a bug that brings down the whole school.

There’s still the hand washing thing of course.

And just because little Johnny does it, doesn’t mean everyone else does. Never mind coughs and sneezes, it’s dirty hands that spread infections faster than anything. Those other kids better wise up fast or they’re going to look pretty miserable.

Which of course is what helicopter Mums are for – even if they don’t all referee rugby.

Oh yeah, which reminds us – enjoy the World Cup!

You’re nicked! How germ CSI fingers you for crime

Female cop
We know it was you – your germs are all over it

They haven’t made the real Bio-Cop movie yet, though there is a fake trailer for it.

But you can betcha, it’s only a matter of time.

And more likely to be a CSI forensic drama than a horror flick with gruesome germs crawling all over the bad guys.

Science fact

Because reality is, the science fiction of it is fast becoming science fact – and it’s already possible to ID a perpetrator from germs left behind at the crime scene – who they are, where they’ve been, what they’ve been eating and who they might have interacted with.

The buzz-word in this new crime genre is “biome” – the unique germ-cloud or aura we all carry around with us. A personal microbial signature that IDs us far more accurately than a finger print or DNA.

You see, it’s not just that we’re full of germs – our bodies colonised by bacteria that outnumber our own human cells by 10 to 1.

We exude these bacteria too – they’re on us and around us, billowing about us wherever we go.

You was there

And the combination of bacteria we each put out is individually and separately different – according to who we are, where we were born, how we grew up, what we eat, where we live, the places we’ve been – and even the mood we’re in.

Which kinda says don’t pull any funny business like a Hatton Gardens jewellery heist – the cops will nail you so fast, it’s as if you left your personal calling card right there at the crime scene. And biologically speaking, that’s exactly what you’ve done.

Of course readers of this blog already know about personal germ-clouds and auras – “biome” is just a posher way of describing them. And recognising that they’re there is key to the most effective protection against germs we’ve seen yet – oxidising them out of existence with hydrogen peroxide.

Evidence in the air

Because we don’t just pull our germ-clouds around with us – they give off all the time, leaving swirls of themselves behind – a biological smoke trail that lingers everywhere we’ve been.

Best demonstration of that is the aromatic compounds given off by the bacteria on our skin when they metabolise. They make a unique scent dogs can recognise, so the cops can track us. Mosquitoes home in on it too – an “all you can eat” invitation triggered by the smell of our sweat.

And it’s from those lingering germ-clouds that we can easily catch a bug. Everyone goes home from the office at the end of the day – but their germ-cloud traces are still there. They’re waiting for us in the morning too – and over time they build up.

So if somebody’s got bird flu, or norovirus, or any of the really contagious nasties – we can pick it up too. Exposed to it all day with no clue that it’s there – a nightmare outbreak round the office and no-one knows why.

Which is why the hydrogen peroxide treatment. To extinguish the residual germ-clouds left behind after everyone knocks off.

And not just any hydrogen peroxide treatment either.

Serious protection

We mean with a Hypersteriliser.

Misting the place up with an electrostatically charged release of ionised gas plasma that super-actively disperses itself everywhere in all directions – right into every crack and crevice – reaching out and grabbing pathogens on the fly – oxidising all viruses and bacteria stone cold dead.

Result, the whole place is sterile. Safe and biologically neutral when folks clock in next morning. No germs to catch, no illnesses to suffer – unless people have already got them.

OK, so the technology isn’t there yet to prove you woofed the office stapler. But in the meantime you’re safe and protected from germs – all push-button easy.

Be a crime not to take care yourself and your mates like that, don’t you think?