No more unwell at work, you’ve hit the germ-free jackpot.
Amazing what happens when you’re full of beans and going for it. Buzzing with health, unstoppable, ten times the person you usually are. It’s workplace wellness in orbit and everyone’s aboard for the ride.
Unwell at work and horrible
Not always like that, is it?
Somebody comes in with some bug – next thing everybody’s all sore throat and pounding head, sagging at their desks and feeling like a train wreck. No jackpot here, unless you mean misery.
Gets to you, doesn’t it? And we’re all of us like this around 60 days a year on average. Here, but not here, a shadow of ourselves. Dying on the job but never giving up.
Real dozy work we do like that too.
Normally slick and professional, we’re blundering and slapdash. Making mistakes, vexing our colleagues, switching off customers. Productivity through the floorboards and costing money like you cannot believe. (Check calculator here)
Impossible – and insured!
Then joy of joys, management get the place done with some new-fangled Hypersteriliser jobbie. Mists everything up with hydrogen peroxide, rips all the germs to nothing, so they say. All viruses and bacteria gone, no bad boys for anyone to catch.
Yeah right, we’ve been here before. None of these things work. Bleach, steam, hydrogen peroxide, fairy dust – all mumbo-jumbo. Breathe any of that stuff and you’re a basket case.
Except this whole thing is insured. Genuine. Real Lloyds of London approved cover to protect all of us. Our workplace too. No cough-splutters, no creepy liquids eating up computer cables. Because those underwriter types never take a gamble. If this stuff didn’t work, they’d all be out of pocket.
So hey! Welcome to the Twenty-First Century Workplace. Germ-free, safe and sterile. Nobody gets ill, all of us are working 100%, productivity zooms and everybody’s laughing.
Sounds like jackpot to us. Win-win, de luxe.
Time to get tough
Too much of a dream? Hint, suggest, wheedle or strong-arm the boss and experience it for yourself. See how it feels to work germ-free and know you’re full-on healthy.
And tell the boss about the productivity savings. Make a point of it. Show her there’s thousands to be made that right now are being wasted.
If you really want this, then she must hit the jackpot too.
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